How to Tell You
by Nate Hunter
Summary: RUKATO -- back by popular demand, the original and often imitated, but never duplicaed Rukato, 'How to Tell You' by Nate Hunter.
1. Chapter 1

**How to Tell You**

**Pairing: Ruki Takato**

**Chapter 1 - Maybe This Way?**

"Why won't that stupid goggle boy stay out of my mind," Ruki muttered, looking over her cards. She needed to prove her strength even more, even if it was only to him. "I'm the Digimon Queen... but is it possible he could be my King?"

"Perhaps there's more to it than mere power," Renamon said, invading Ruki's thoughts. "Perhaps you find yourself truly attracted to him."

"Who asked you," Ruki snapped. "If it were anything like that, I would know it."

"Fine," Renamon replied. "I'll leave you alone to think about it. But maybe you just don't want to admit it."

"(Could she be right? I mean, he's certainly not my type, but sometimes the way he stands up to me puts him in a whole new light... and he's sort of cute in that light too.)" She smiled as she packed her cards, and walked outside. "I'll call you if anything comes up, Renamon."

"Wait a minute, Takato, you actually know the Digimon Queen?" This was Hirokazu, who was already starting to get suspicious about the time Takato had stopped spending with them. "Are you sure you're telling us everything, or is there more than just knowing?"

"Come on, Hirokazu," Takato said, embarrased. "I don't even really know what you're talking about."

"If you say so," Hirokazu said. "So, you up for a card battle?"

"No, I have to get home for dinner. I'm already late enough as it is, and if I'm much later, Mom will throw a fit." Takato smirked as he thought of something. "But tomorrow we can play, I promise."

"Yeah, sure," Hirokazu said. "Tomorrow."

As Takato hurried home, he couldn't help but think about Ruki, even in the way that he knew Hirokazu was talking about. "As harsh as she can be, I can't believe I could feel this way for her," he muttered, stopping at a crosswalk. As the light xcchanged, he thought of something else. "But maybe she's like a traffic light... it changes from being dangerous to safe with time."

"He said he saw me in his dream," Ruki said, watching as the Digital Field approached her. "Well let's hope he has sweet dreams tonight. Come on, Renamon, we have a battle ahead of us!"

"Of course," Renamon said, nearing the field.

"So, who do we battle tonight, I wonder?"

As Takato lay down in bed, he closed his eyes to get some sleep. "After all, tomorrow I have to take care of Guilmon and still have time for a card battle with Hirokazu."

"(Hey... that's Yashamon... I have his card,)" he thought as he saw a form in his mind. "Am I.. dreaming?" He looked around. "I must be... but it's like that other time... with Lynxmon."

"Yashamon, huh? An armored Digimon is no match for you, isn't that right, Renamon?"

"We'll see," Renamon said, looking at her foe. "But I doubt he'll prove any challenge." She leapt up, unleashing a flurry of punches at his face, then standing on her hands there for a moment before flipping to land behind him.

"Gordian Knot," Yashamon said, turnign around and knocking his two swords together towards Renamon. He was wasting no time in starting the battle in earnest, and he wasn't weak either. Renamon was barely able to evade.

"Don't worry, Ruki, I'll handle it," she said, leaping into the air. Yashamon was ready for that approach, though, and raised his swords to get her. He hadn't expected her to land ahead of him, and was knocked down as her foot connected with his gut. "Take that."

"Not good enough, Renamon," Ruki said, smiling. "Power Charger," she said, pulling out the card. "Card slash!" She ran it through her D-Arc, boosting Renamon's power through the card. "All right, now keep fighting."

"Of course," Renamon said. She didn't pull her punches, but Yashamon was easily a rival to her speed with his swords. She was on the defensive as often qaas not, and getting tired of it. Leaping into the air, she pulled her limbs in, charging for her special attack. Letting out, she launched it. "Fox Leaf Arrowhead!"

"So much for Yashamon," Takato said, watching the attack pour down on him. "Oh well... but is there a reason that I keep dreaming about her, and not some other Tamer? Is it just that she's the only one who goes out like this at night?"

"This one's for the goggle boys," Ruki said, pulling out another card. "All right Renamon, let's show Yashamon what we've really got! Aegis." She held out the card and prepared to do the slash. "Card slash!"

As the armor appeared, Renamon continued fighting Yashamon, who had withstood the attack. She kept punching, wishing Ruki had chosen a speed plug-in, but knew it was pointless to wish at this point. Yashamon's right sword broke under the oncoming barrage, and Renamon still wouldn't stop, but neither would he. She flipped, kicking him in the chin as she did so, and knocking him to the ground.

"Finish him, Renamon!"

"Fox Leaf Arrowhead!" This time the battle was over. Yashamon faded into Data, which Renamon abosorbed. "You seem to have come to terms with your feelings," Renamon said as she looked at Ruki. "For the goggle boy."

"Quiet," Ruki said, staring at the scene around her. "That's better." She just stood there for a moment, and thought.

"What's she doing," Takato wondered, looking down at Ruki. "I've never seen her like this before... she almost looks, sad? Is that even possible from her? I mean, she's the Digimon Queen... just watching her makes me feel worthless now."

"I don't know, goggle boy," Ruki said, looking up. "Maybe you can hear me, somehow... I don't know how to explain it, but... I like you. I don't care about you though, I just think you look kind of cute."

"M... me? This is unexpected," Takato said, feeling like someone had just frozen his insides.

"But when we fight, I won't go easy. So next time we battle, you'd best be prepared." And then, Takato's dream ended, leaving him an undisturbed sleep, haunted not by Ruki's last words, but by her confession.


	2. Chapter 2

**How to Tell You  
Chapter 2: "Fighting Blocks the Pain."**

"Hah, I won!" Takato triumphantly slapped down the card, and Hirokazu groaned. "See, I could beat the Digimon Queen no problem in that tournament."

"Sure," Hirokazu said, picking up his cards. "Sure you could. You know I'm usually the one who wins."

"Well I'm getting better," Takato said. It was true, though -- he'd had to learn how to modify, thanks to Guilmon.

"So he is," Ruki said, listening in from nearby. "But he couldn't beat me yet. He would need much more skill to accomplish that. Renamon, what's the situation with his pet Digimon?"

Renamon responded lightly, so as not to be too distracted from Guilmon. "He is preoccupied," she said. "We are playing."

"See that he stays busy," Ruki said. "I think a card battle is in order now."

As Takato got up, he saw her, sitting on the bench, looking his way. "Don't look now, but she's right there," he said. "And it looks like she's waiting for someone."

"Looks to me more like she's watching you," Hirokazu said. "Definitely supports my theory of something going on." Both watched as she got up and walked over, looking at each of them.

"Which one of you thinks he could beat me," she asked, pulling out her cards. Her headphones were off, and she was looking at both of them. "I overheard you a few minutes ago. Which one of you said you could beat the Digimon Queen?" She already knew the answer, and just wanted him to admit it.

A moment passed in silence, before Takato answered. "I did," he said. "But, don't you think it would be better to wait for the tournament to see about it?"

"Are you afraid you'll lose, gogglehead?"

"No way! I just try not to push my skills too much," Takato said, covering up his fear. She scared him, not just as a tamer, but as a card player too. "But if you really want to, we can play."

"Then let's go," she said, smiling. "If you win, I'll admit that you're good enough to be the Digimon King."

"Uhh, miss Digimon Queen," Hirokazu said. "My name is Hirokazu, and I was just wondering if you would mind me watching the game? You know, make sure Takato here doesn't try cheating."

"Yes, I would mind. Now scram, gogglehead." She shoved Hirokazu away and looked Takato in the eye. "So, did you dream of me again?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Then remember what I said to you. Because I meant it," she said. "And don't worry about your little pet Digimon. Renamon is keeping him busy."

"What?"

"Just get your cards out and let's play." She held her cards ready and watched. "Or else I may decide to have Renamon start fighting."

"So, you meant all of what you said," Takato said, packing up his deck. He hadn't won, but he hadn't really expected to. "Then maybe you should tell it to Juri. If you ever see her, that is."

"Huh? Look, I have enough problems without having to worry about carrying messages for you, gogglehead."

"And why do you call us that all the time? It's not what you said in my dream."

"Because you're weak," Ruki said. "Not even worth my time, really. I don't know what I thought this card battle would prove. Whatever it was though, it failed."

"But you said you..."

"Don't remind me," Ruki said, glaring at him. "Even if it is true."

"Maybe you need a chance to share your problems with someone," Takato said. "And if you ever decide to, give me a call. Here's my number." He handed her a scrap of paper, with his phone number scribbled on it.

She crumpled the paper and stuffed it in her pocket. "Forget it, gogglehead. I don't need your help." Walking away, she stopped just long enough to say her goodbyes. "And we will meet again, goggle boy. I can guarantee it."

Walking into her room, she pulled out the scrap of paper, and placed in on the table. "Stupid, but ever so sweet, goggle boy," she said, looking at it. "But I can't call you... not yet. Not even while you might expect it, no. But if my own parents don't seem to care, how could anyone else? I just can't trust this gogglehead yet."

"I care, Ruki," Renamon said, stepping out of the shadows. "But I wish that sometimes you didn't push so hard. What is it about your past that makes you so desperate to forget it all in the heat of the fight?"

"It's my father," Ruki said, turning aside. "And beyond that, I do not want to talk about it, so just leave me alone. Take a night off, too, we're staying home tonight, so I can have some time to think."

As far back as Ruki remembered, she'd wanted to know why her father was never there. All the other kids had one, but not her. And every time she asked her mother about it, she just got the cold shoulder. Once she'd been old enough to start playing the Card Battle game, she'd devoted herself to it. She quickly found that the rush of victory could help her overcome the missing element in her life. And then she'd found the Blue Card.

"Huh? I've never seen a card like this before," she said, looking it over. "Maybe it's a promotional deal?" She'd already been a neighborhood card master by this point, and was known for how well she could play any Digimon -- especially Renamon. She took the card home, and ran it through her card reader, to see what it might be.

"Huh? What's happening here? Why is... my card reader is changing... into a Digivice? Sort of like the cards," she said, looking at it. It was mostly white, with blue highlights, and gleamed like something from her dreams. Examining it further, she saw that it seemed like it could still read cards, but more of note, she saw that the screen was displaying a Digitama.

The next day, Renamon had found her, and not long after they'd had their first encounter with a Digital Field. Renamon battled Tentomon, and won, and absorbed his data. Not even a challenge, but Ruki found the rush of that battle more intoxicating than even the card battles. She hunted for more, and got what she was looking for. But she never forgot why she needed the rush.

She lacked the emotional support of either of her parents, and needed something to fill the emotional hole she had inside. And with every battle, the hole just got deeper, until even the battles only filled the hole while they went on. And then the other Digimon had started appearing. "I wonder if they found a Blue Card too," she whispered, as she saw both Takato and Lee in her minds eye, with their Digimon.

Takato wasn't sure why, but he could tell there were more complex problems than anyone except Ruki could possibly know. And they were what drove her to fight, to prove herself as being independent and strong, when inside, she wasn't completely like that.

"But I'm not like that either," he said, sketching Growmon's evolved form. "I just make up these Digimon, and then they're what happens for Guilmon. But I wish I knew why she has these problems, or even what they are. Oh well, if she wants to tell me, I'll be here, and I'll be ready to help."

"Renamon!" Ruki said, her eyes flying open in the middle of the night. "I'm so empty... so empty inside. I don't know what to do about it though." She lay in her bed, frightened at what she was feeling inside, but even more worried to make the call she knew might be able to help. She didn't want to show her weakness.


	3. Chapter 3

**How to Tell You  
Chapter 3: Guardian Spirit**

Takato hadn't really expected her to call anyway, but he'd needed to at least offer his help. As he loaded a bag with the rolls he was going to give Guilmon, he thought about her. "(Hey, maybe I really do like her,)" he thought, heading out.

"Just make sure you're home in time for dinner," his mother called out as he left. "We won't be waiting for you tonight."

"All right," he said. "(Maybe I should see what Guilmon thinks? Nah, he probably wouldn't understand it anyway. He'd just think it's another game. But Lee might...)"

"Hello, Takato," Juri said, holding up her sock puppet. "It's good to see you today!"

"Yeah, yeah, it's good to see you too, Juri," Takato said, panicking. "Look, why don't you just go on ahead to school and I'll meet you there. I have to, uhh, make this delivery for my mother before school."

"Why can't we go with you?"

"Hey look, just don't ask questions," Takato said. "I won't skip classes today." He needed to find some way out of this, before he was too late. "(Hey look, it's Lee and his Terriermon... Maybe they can help.)"

"Hey, Takato," Lee shouted, smiling. "Come on, you'll be late if you take too long."

"See, Lee will make sure I get to school," Takato said. "Now go on, Juri. You wouldn't want to miss classes, would you?"

Finally, he got rid of her and got the food to Guilmon, then headed for school with Lee. "Hey, Lee," he said, breaking a rather awkward silence. "What would you do if a girl, well, you know, liked you?"

"Like the sock-puppet girl seems to like you?"

"Err, sort of, except someone who's totally Juri's opposite," he said. "You know, like that Ruki."

"If Ruki liked me, I'd run to China," Lee said, grinning. "And I'd suggest the same to you. But why do you ask?"

"Well... I guess I never really told you about the night before I got Guilmon, did I?" He paused for a moment, then told the story briefly. "I had a weird dream, about Ruki, fighting a Lynxmon. Weirdest thing, though, Other than maybe in the newspapers or maybe a card battle magazine, I don't thin kI'd ever seen her."

"You dreamt about Ruki? That is weird," Lee said, looking over at Takato. "Well, maybe it was just a freak coincidence. Or maybe it's an omen of some sort. I dunno, but I bet there are all sort of ancient sayings about this sort of thing."

"I don't doubt it," Takato said. "Look, don't tell Hirokazu or Kenta, or really anyone, for that matter, but I think I kind of do like Ruki. And the other night I had another dream, where she said she liked me -- and yesterday she told me that she meant it all when we were about to have a card battle. That's really weird, huh?"

"Yep. Oh well, maybe you should think about it before you do anything rash," Lee said. "Well, I'd better get to my class. Maybe we can talk some more after school."

"Yeah," Takato said, wondering how he really felt about Ruki.

"Ruki, what's the matter," Renamon asked, standing by the bed. "Why won't you get up?"

"Because, I... I really can't say. Father never cared, mother is the same, I've always been empty, and tried to fill it."

"Ruki, you need help," Renamon said. "I'll go..."

"No, I have to be strong, can't show weakness. Just act like I'm sick is all." Ruki was not dealing well with what she had discovered about herself, and it horrified Renamon. "Yes, just sick, that's all. I'm just sick."

"You can't possibly believe that," Renamon said, looking down on her tamer. "I mean, honestly, there are far worse things than just being weak. I'm going to find you help, Ruki. You shouldn't be like this."

"Takato, I smell something bad," Guilmon said, looking to the trees.

"I don't want to fight today," Renamon said, leaping down from the branch. "I need your help."

"Where's your tamer," Takato asked.

"She isn't here. She didn't ask me to come either," Renamon said. "She needs help, and I don't know how to help her with this."

"So she can call me if she wants my help," Takato said. "She can ask me herself. I mean, what good is it to try helping if she doesn't want it?"

"But she needs it," Renamon said, looking down at Takato. "Whether she admits it or not."

"Look, she can ask once she's ready, but until then," Takato said.

"Renamon play again?"

"Huh? You just... played with Guilmon yesterday?"

"What did you think? That I battled him?" Renamon scoffed at the accusation. "He wouldn't be here if that had happened."

As the next few days went by, Renamon kept going to Takato, asking for help. Ruki may been too proud to ask, but Renamon was not the same. On Sunday, they just talked, until Renamon left, saying Ruki needed her.

"I don't know," Takato said, closing his eyes. "I mean, yeah, I really care about her, but I'm not going to intrude if she doesn't want it. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped."

"Takato, I tired of hearing you complain about girl tamer," Guilmon said. "It like you fight her even when she not here. It confusing me."

"Sorry Guilmon. It's just that she keeps bothering me, even if she isn't here. I'm worried that she hasn't come out for so long now."

"Then maybe help her come back out?"

"Maybe," Takato said. "Maybe."

"Thank you, Renamon," Ruki said, holding the cup of tea. "I'm so glad you care enough to help me. Even my mother isn't that concerned."

"Of course I care, Ruki," Renamon said. "And I have a confession to make. I've been talking to Takato these past few days."

"You haven't told him, how weak I am," Ruki said, more of a question than a statement.

"No. But he won't come to help unless you ask. No matter how much I ask, he insists that it be you who asks for help." Renamon looked down at Ruki, pain visible in her eyes. "So tomorrow, I want you to try and be strong, and just ask him for the help you need. Having a shoulder to lean on when you're in trouble is no sign of weakness, but of greatest strength."

"I'll try," Ruki said, sipping the tea. "I will try."

Renamon sat awake the whole night, keeping a silent vigil over Ruki. "(She only thinks she's alone,)" she thought, a tear falling from her eye. "(But with friends, she need never feel that way again.)"

"I wonder," Takato said, lying in his bed awake. "I wonder if anything will change tomorrow. Or will it be the same as ever?" But as he worried about the future, the reassuring voice of Terriermon reminded him of what to do. "Oh well, whatever happens, I'll just have to moumantai, I suppose."

Author's Note: You may (if you're a fan of a certain American cartoon) notice similarities in the reactions of Ruki and Takato to a certain other pair of characters. If you know what cartoon I'm referring to, or more specifically, which characters, then congratulations. The answer will be revealed when I publish Chapter 4 (which is already finished) later today, or perhaps early tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**How to Tell You  
Chapter 4: A Shoulder to Cry On**

It was Monday, and Ruki pushed herself to get through school, trying her best not to let her obvious weakness show. She was barely able to even stand the thought of her life, and what it had become, but realized that she needed to fill the hole in her heart. "Come on, just let the bell ring," she said, watching the clock as school ended. "Let me find Takato... I need someone, to talk with."

"All right class, tonight's homework assignment is to study today's kanji and prepare for tomorrows reading assignments." This from their teacher, Ishida-sensei, as class wound down. "And don't try to fake it tomorrow, or I'll give you the rest of this year's kanji for homework!"

"Whatever," Ruki said as the bell finally rang. "I can't believe this, though, I finally meet him on almost equal terms, and then this happens. It's like my worst nightmare come true."

"Maybe that's because it is," Renamon said. "You don't like being weak, so this is something you can't stand feeling."

"I know, Renamon. It's a figure of speech." She leaned against a pole outside of the building, and looked around. "Do you know where gogglehead is?"

"He's in the park, or at least headed that way. He goes there every day."

"Intercept him for me," she said. "I'll wait at home."

"I understand, Ruki," Renamon said, sympathetically. "I'll take him."

"This is weird," Hirokazu said, watching as Takato approached. "He keeps looking back, like he expects someone."

"Don't worry about it," Kenta said. "I bet he's just being a bit paranoid. I mean, with that game between the Digimon Queen yesterday, it's no surprise that he'd be that way."

"I bet she's the one he's looking... Huh!? Kenta, where is he? Where did he go?"

"He was there just a second ago," Kenta said. "And then he just, disappeared."

"Hey, what!? Hey, you're that Renamon!"

"Very astute," Renamon said. "Ruki asked me to fetch you, so I am doing so."

"(Does she, want to talk? This is weird, yesterday, she said she didn't need my help, an now she sends her Renamon to bring me to her. She sure is weird, even for a girl.)"

"I certainly hope you aren't too uncomfortable," Renamon said, covering his eyes with one of her hands. "But it's probably best you don't know where she is, unless she wants you to know."

"Oh," Takato said, wondering what this was all about. He liked her, it was why he had offered to help. But this was a bit uncalled for.

"Good job, Renamon," Ruki said and Renamon finally stopped moving. She uncovered Takato eyes and he looked around the room. He couldn't tell the size, because most of the room was in shadows, and then he saw her. Ruki was just lying on her bed, looking horrible, just looking towards him. "Hello, Takato."

"You- you didn't call me a gogglehead," Takato said, shocked. "You remembered my name?"

"Of course, little fool," Ruki said, narrowing her eyes and lightly chuckling. "Plus, I don't need to look down on friends, do I?"

"Y- you consider me a friend? How many friends do you have?"

"Now? Two... maybe three," she said. "Let's just say my life hasn't much contributed to getting me friends."

"I suppose I guessed as much," Takato said. "But, why would you call me now? I mean, yesterday you didn't even want to talk."

"Renamon, leave us alone for a while," Ruki said. "We need to talk alone." As Renamon stepped into the shadows, Takato watched, in awe at that ability. "Last night, I just felt so empty. I couldn't think of anything else to do. I've always tried to fill it, but now, I don't even think battling can keep covering the emptiness."

"But why would you feel empty? I mean, I'm sure you're popular," Takato said.

"Maybe," she said. "I don't care though, if I'm popular or not, as long as I'm strong. And now... I'm not strong anymore. I've been jealous of you since we met, really. How you have parents, and how they seem to actually care for you. Me? I only have my mother, and she hardly even seems to notice me when I'm right here. I never knew my father."

"Is that why you always fight? Because your parents don't care about you?"

"It covered the pain, it helped me forget the emptiness with a rush. First with the cards, then with Renamon." Ruki had closed her eyes by now, and was thinking back. "I remember the first time I played the Card Battle game... I beat my neighbor, and the rush just made me feel like something mattered, for once in my life. He was in tears, but I was so happy that nothing could really describe it, except maybe the word ecstasy."

"Look, Ruki, I'm here to help you get through this," Takato said, looking at her. "I mean, Hirokazu and Kenta would kick me out of the club for sure if they heard this, but I really like you. I care about what you're going through."

"So, I have two people who really care," Ruki said, opening her eyes. "You're sweet goggle boy. I guess I should have known that you could care, after all, you're parents care, so why shouldn't you?"

"Well, I never really thought of it that way," he said. "But, Ruki, I don't just like you, I like who you are, I like how you push yourself. I guess I really admire that part of you. I mean, you really do know what you're doing when you're out battling, that's when you're in your element, Ruki."

"Just shut up, Takato," Ruki said, pushing herself up. "Mom surrounds herself with men, like she wants to forget about my father. But for once, I want to see someone who really cares, and feel what it's like to know they're there, Takato. Takato, I want you to be there for me, when I need someone to lean on. Will you do that?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I don't think I could live with myself if I refused," he said, looking at her again. He saw the deep violet of her eyes, and it pierced him to the bone. "But of course I can do that, Ruki. Of course."

"Well then, let's do something about it," she said, pulling him close. "Let's promise each other that if we need help, we can turn to the other. That way, neither of us has to feel weak again."

Ruki was feeling powerful now, especially seeing how Takato seemed to like her strong self. "And if you agree," she said, grinning at him. "Just let me have this moment." She leaned in and kissed him, just a quick kiss, then pulled back, and looked in his eyes. "And maybe later we can do more than that quick kiss," she said, smiling at Takato.

"As long as you don't start getting soft on me," Takato said, chuckling. "I'll always be here to help. But keep strong, for my sake."

Ruki was very happy about this turn of events. "Of course, my little Taka-chan," she said. "Of course. And no going easy in battles either. After all, goggle boy, all's fair in love and war. And we have both to look forward to."

Finis -- for now


	5. Chapter 5

**How to Tell you  
Chapter 5: Sweet Sorrow**

"Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow." (Juliet Capulet)

As Renamon took Takato back to the park, she said nothing, and seemed very pleased. "Thank you," she finally said, leaving him behind a tree. "For everything." She leapt into the tree, and disappeared, and Takato turned to look for his friends.

He saw Hirokazu and Kenta heading over to play a card battle, and he ran up to them. "Hey, guys! You couldn't wait for me?"

"You disappeared for almost an hour," Kenta said. "Where were you?"

"I'll bet he ran off to see the Digimon Queen," Hirokazu said.

"I... well, it's just," he hunted for an explanation, then thought of something. "I just remembered that my mom needed me to run an errand right after school."

"All right," Hirokazu said. "But I'm watching you from now on. I mean, first you needed to know where she lives and now you just disappear on us after you played against the Digimon Queen? And that time you claimed Digimon were real. Are you still gonna insist on that?"

"If you must know, I had to buy some sauce for dinner tonight," Takato said. "And I could care less whether or not you believe me about Digimon being real. So, up for a card battle?" As he headed into their hangout, he had to think though, "(I'll have to tell them sometime. I just have to be careful about it.)" He still remembered what Hirokazu had said when he was trying to find Ruki a few weeks earlier.

School had just gotten out, and the three were talking about the not too far removed Card Battle tournament. Hirokazu and Kenta had gotten into a debate over whether or not Hirokazu would stand even the least chance against the Digimon Queen, and had even mentioned that she lived in the area.

"I have to find her," Takato said, pulling himself to his senses.

"Huh? You have to do what?" Hirokazu's eyes were narrowed a bit, in shock at what he thought he'd just heard.

"Where does she live? I need her." Takato was desperate now, almost panicked. He needed the information.

"Dude, I can't believe what you just said," Kenta said, his eyes wide in shock. "Did you just say you need a girl?"

"You're out of the club, buddy," Hirokazu said, focusing his gaze. "Hello?"

Takato flashed back to the present, and closed his eyes. It was no use. Until he could nail Kenta or Hirokazu about wanting a girl, he couldn't risk it. He didn't want to lose his friends over a relationship he might as well have kept a secret. He had to try to introduce Ruki to his friends in a more normal manner. She wouldn't fit too well with the club, but she might at least be able to teach Hirokazu a thing about the tournament.

"All right," Hirokazu said, tapping on Takato's head. "I said I'll play you again, goggle-brain. So let's play."

"Oh, yeah," Takato said. He shook off the thought of Ruki, then went to play the game.

As they left, Takato was shocked at the time. "Whoah! I've gotta hurry home," he said. "(And get Guilmon his food... I hope he's not mad that it's so late.)" He ran home, desperate to come up with a proper excuse for it.

"Guilmon," Takato said, looking at his partner. "Now that we're back on track, I have all sorts of new combos I want to try. What do you say?" The ground shook slightly, disturbing Takato for a moment. "And all these attacks too. And maybe a team name? Something like the Amazing Duo, y'know." The ground shook again, more noticeably. "What was that?"

"It's coming," Guilmon thought, looking towards the twin towers of Hypnos in the distance. He could smell a powerful Digital force approaching, not a Digimon, but similar to them. "Takato, where did you go earlier today?"

"Huh?" Takato shuddered for a moment, trying not to recall his time with Ruki too clearly. "Renamon took me to talk with Ruki."

"That's what I thought," Guilmon said. "You smell like them both. Even your breath smells like Tamer Ruki. Did you try to eat her?"

"No," Takato said. "Look, you have to keep this a secret from Juri and everyone else, but I . . . I kissed her. I think I really like Ruki, Guilmon. But please, keep this a secret. Please."

"Okay," Guilmon said, indifferent to the whole situation.

Takato felt something happening, and looked up. "The sky," he said, watching a strange vortex appear.

"Takato, something is coming," Guilmon said, his lips rising in a growl. He didn't know how he knew what he knew, but he did. "A Digimon. And it's really big."

Takato sighed, disappointed yet amazed. The vortex seemed strangely familiar, but he couldn't remember where from. "I think we're in for a lot of trouble, Guilmon. A whole lot of trouble."

Author's Notes:

- The first flashback takes place during Episode 3 (_Battle is a Digimon's Life_).

- The final scene is modified and filled from Episode 13 (_A Sinister Foreboding_) of Digimon Tamers.

Please forgive the shortness of this chapter. I don't write a lot of Tamers stuff, but I'll try to get back into the habit as I continue How to Tell You.


	6. Chapter 6

**How to Tell You  
Chapter 6: A Broken Heart**  
Canonical Timeframe: Late Episode 14 to before Ep. 15 

_"Such words you say, my heart to joy, and yet I fear you'll break it soon."_

"Did Takato leave," Juri asked, looking at his friends, Hirokazu and Kenta.

"No way! A real tamer never leaves his Digimon," Kenta said, looking down on the scene. "Takato rocks!"

"Hey, you looked pretty cool there, chunley," Hirokazu said, extending his hand to Takato.

"Yeah," Juri said, sighing as she looked at him. "And cute, too."

"What!?"

"Pu-lease," Hirokazu said, shoving Juri playfully.

"Takatomon." Megalo Growmon still stood over the children, looking at Takato. "You are worthy, Tamer."

"I think, I think I see that now," Takato said, tears forming in his eyes. He placed his arms wide on Megalo Growmon's chin, as close to a hug as he could manage.

"Thank you, for fighting by my side."

"But, I . . . I didn't do anything," Takato said, sobbing. "Except trust you. And, myself, I guess. It looks like we'll need a whole lot of peanut butter for this."

"So how are things," Ruki said, finding Takato outside of Guilmon's shelter. "Not too much damage, I hope."

Takato turned aside, trying to hide his tears. "I . . . I almost lost Guilmon today," he said, barely keeping his voice steady. "I don't know, if you know what that feels like. To lose someone you care about so much, or even just come close."

"Renamon," Ruki said, blinking. "When I attacked Harpymon the other night, all I could think of was that I couldn't bear to live without Renamon as my partner. I guess I thought you wouldn't have understood about it."

"Just then, I wouldn't have," Takato admitted, turning around. "Ruki, it's something I just realized tonight. I was feeling every hit Mihiramon made on Growmon. We had to work together to beat him, or we never would have had the strength. I almost wonder, what would have happened to me if Growmon had died."

"Don't think about that," Ruki said, putting her arms around him. "In fact, right now, it might be smart to try to avoid thinking about much of anything. Come on, I have something to show you."

"Hello Jenrya," Renamon said, appearing inside his room. "We need to talk."

"I know," Lee said, raising an eyebrow. "It's about Ruki and Takato, isn't it?"

"Mostly," Renamon admitted, shrugging slightly. "She wants me to keep it a secret, but I don't think I can. Sometimes, when you care about someone..."

"I understand," Lee said, crossing his arms. "She likes Takato, right? Does he know?"

"Yes, to both," Renamon said. "I expect you saw it as clearly as I did tonight. And, as much as I know this is wrong, it hurts me that they would be so close."

"What?" Lee was in shock at the words, trying to put them together. "Are you saying that you don't think they belong together?"

"No," Renamon said, gasping. "Just, I don't think everything is clear around them. Having each of them pulled aside by other interests would not be healthy for them."

"So you're trying to make sure they have a balance," Lee said, running one hand through his hair. "Except that isn't the way human relationships work. A perfect match will still find struggles because of an imperfect balance."

"I know," Renamon said, looking out the window. "I must go." And with no more than that, she vanished, a puff of smoke being left behind.

"I wonder where Takato went," Juri said, creeping around the bushes.

"He probably went to find more Digimon," the sock puppet on her hand responded, barking as it finished. "Boys are so silly."

"They sure are," Juri said, giggling as she turned to a rustling in the bush. She peeked through it and gasped, her eyes widening in shock. "He's just being silly," she said, running away. "Just playing a mean joke, right?"

"In your dreams girl," the puppet replied, before flying off of her hand. Its words echoed in her mind, forcing her to confront what she had seen.

"Did you hear something," Takato asked, turning around. "I could've sworn I heard someone. But, I don't think we were seen."

"It doesn't matter, does it?" Ruki smiled up at him. "After all, whoever it was proably wouldn't have recognized us anyway, right?"

"Yeah," Takato said, turning back. "I suppose so." He smiled faintly, and then turned completely back towards Ruki. "And even if they did, what we do is our business."

"Right," Ruki said, leaning in towards him. "It's our own business, Taka-chan." She pressed her lips to his, and they resumed the kiss that they'd been pursuing only moments before.

"How could he? Doesn't he know how I feel," Jurisaid, sobbing into her sock puppet. "I thought he knew that I liked him. But then he . . . he'd rather be with a Tamer girl than me, because she knows about Digimon. And look at me, I hardly even know three Digimon names."

She sat there, sobbing behind Guilmon's shelter, until her tears had run dry. "I should go, before he comes back. I wouldn't want to disappoint him again."

"Takato, were you crying behind here last night?"

"Why do you ask, Guilmon?"

"Because, someone was crying there," Guilmon said, straight to the point as usual. "But it didn't sound like you. It sounded like a girl."

"A girl?" Takato blinked as he put it all together. A gasp in the bushes, and then a girl crying back here. "I should have told her sooner," he muttered. "Guilmon, I have to get to school now. I'll be back this afternoon with more food, all right?"

"Okay. See you later Takato!"

"Hey Juri," Takato said, trying to sound cheery. "How are you today?"

"I'm just fine," she said, turning to face him.

"So, where's your sock puppet?"

"I don't need him," Juri said, looking up at her classmate. "I'm into Digimon now."

"Huh?"

"I'll be getting my cards next week," she said. "Kenta already said he'll teach me how to play."

"Oh," Takato said. "Juri, were you looking for me last night?"

"Look," she said, tears in her eyes. "If you'd rather be with that Tamer girl, then do it! But first," she jumped up and wrapped her arms around him. "You never gave me a chance, Takato. So, just one kiss." She didn't give him a chance to respond, as she pressed her lips to his, and led into the kiss. A moment later, a slap removed her from Takato, and looking up at Ruki.

"R- Ruki?" Takato seemed very nervous, and looked straight at her. "Look, Ruki, this isn't what it looks like. I didn't, I mean, we , I mean . . . Please, Ruki. She saw us last night."

"So you're trying to keep her quiet?"

"Ruki, please, she jumped on me, she didn't give me a chance to fight back."

"You're just like everyone else," Ruki said, striking Takato's cheek. "You say one thing, but mean another. Have fun with her, because you aren't seeing me again." Ruki stalked off, the anger almost visible. She wanted nothing to do with him, and was making it clear.

"Now do you see what you've done," Takato said, looking down at Juri. "Thanks a lot, Katou. Why don't you go ruin my partnership with Guilmon too!"

"I'm sorry," Juri said, watching him head into school. "It wasn't like I thought. I didn't feel anything." And she stayed on the ground, sobbing. She couldn't make Takato like her, and that realization was like a hole in her heart. But what hurt even more was that he didn't even like her as a friend anymore. "I'm so sorry, Takato. I didn't mean to hurt you."

_Takato moped through class all day, waiting to make Ruki see what had happened. Suddenly, his life had more important things than Guilmon and Digimon, and he knew he would have to face them all. Especially when he saw Juri, still on the ground, unmoved all day._

_Sometimes, love can really hurt. Sometimes, the pain affects more people than you would ever expect. And sometimes, realizing you've been after the wrong person, can almost kill you. But what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and a rebuilt bridge can often be more sturdy than the one before it. . ._

To be continued? Such is my hope.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: To Spare Your Love**

Takato sighed, dejected at what had happened. If he'd even suspected for a moment that Ruki had meant what she'd said, he would have never tried to make up. But she didn't want that, and Renamon wouldn't allow the risk.

"I suppose she has good reason," he muttered, drawing a picture of her, without even realizing it. "But doesn't she know love isn't something you just turn on and off? If she loves me like I love her, she shouldn't be able to even act like this."

He glanced down, and flipped the page. He had to get his mind off of her, and the easiest way to do that was Digimon. "But I can't even imagine what Megalo Growmon's Ultimate level should be like," he said, looking out the window. He knew Juri hated him, and Ruki was little better. His hand was sketching, though, and when he looked down, he wanted to rip the page apart.

It was Juri Katou, the girl who had accused him of misleading her feelings just yesterday. "That long," he muttered, the question posed to no one. "She said I'd been leading her on for five years, and I have to wonder, could she be right?"

"Look at them," Lee said, smiling as he looked at Takato. "So carefree. It's really nice to see them having fun."

"Come on," Takato said, a forced smile on his face. "It's all they know, Jen."

"Yeah." A moment of silence followed, as Guilmon and Terriermon played with each other. "I've been thinking, Takato. You know the annual camping trip, right?"

"Yeah, it's coming up in a few days," Takato said. "What about it?"

"I think I'm going to take Terriermon," he said, looking out towards the sunset. "Maybe you could take Guilmon?"

"What!?" Takato's face twisted in a look of shock if his teacher saw Guilmon. "Well, I guess I could figure out a way to get him there. But are you sure it's a good idea?"

"Well, they've been fighting a lot lately," Lee said, turning back into the shelter.

"They aren't the only ones," Takato muttered, hoping his friend wouldn't hear.

"I just thought, they deserve a break," he finished. "Sort of a vacation."

"Yeah," Takato said. "We could all use a vacation."

"We just wanted to, sort of, give them a vacation," Takato said, looking just aside from Juri's eyes. But the way Guilmon was squirming under him, it was harder then he'd hoped.

"Oh," she said. "That's a really nice idea. Takato, sometimes you're a really sweet guy."

"Does this mean you still want me," Takato said, lowering his voice. "Or am I just imagining things?"

"What about Ruki," Juri said, turning away. "I don't want to be second to anyone, Takato."

"I know," Takato said. "Look, Ruki doesn't want me anymore. I think she was just playing on me to help herself feel better. Juri, it was wrong of me to act that way towards you. I . . . I want to make it up to you."

"We'll see," Juri said, softly. "After the trip."

"This is really a nice, restful vacation," Takato said. "A great chance away."

"Yeah," Lee said. "Of course, if Ruki were here, she'd probably have us fighting trees to stay prepared."

"Stupid trees," Takato said. "She'd have us fighting 'stupid trees'."

"Takato, I've been meaning to ask you," Lee started, but was interrupted by Guilmon.

The events of the rest of the day were busy, Lee reflected, as they finally headed home. First Impmon debating about the problems with Tamers, then Shinduramon showed up in force. Terriermon and Guilmon chased him, and Lee had to track him down to the hydroelectric plant a few miles away. They'd won, but something felt wrong about Takato's behavior.

"Takato, before we go," Lee said. "I have to ask you this: Is everything all right between you and Ruki?"

"Of - of course," Takato blurted out. "Although I don't see why you would know about it."

"Renamon," Lee said. "Takato, if something is wrong, tell me. I won't judge you."

"I don't want to talk about it," Takato said, narrowing his eyes. "I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore."

"Renamon, what's wrong?"

"I told you there would be problems if you cut him off," Renamon said, narrowing her eyes. "Ruki, he isn't acting like himself, and you aren't acting like yourself. Apologize, and let him know you made a mistake. If he really cares about that other girl, then your apologies won't matter to him."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then you were wrong," Renamon said, reaching towards her partner. "Ruki, people aren't meant to live alone."

"You've been listening to my grandmother, haven't you?"

"I'm always watching you," Renamon said. "As partners, we protect each other."

"Fine," Ruki said. "But he probably took my advice. He probably doesn't want anything to do with me, even if he didn't go to her."

"I think you'll find that I'm right on this," Renamon said, vanishing.

"Juri, I . . . I really like you," Takato said, looking down at her. "It's just, I don't know if I'm entirely prepared for this."

"Don't worry," she said. "We can take it slowly if you want."

"Thank you, for understanding," Takato said, wrapping his arms around her. "You're a great friend, Juri."

Ruki knew where he would be, and went there. She even had a full apology prepared, before she headed there. She recited it again before she went into the park, and swallowed her pride. Sometimes, strong wasn't the best approach.

"Fuck you, Takato Matsuda," she shouted, seeing him across the park. "And I hope I never see you again!"

Takato turned towards her, and wordless shock filled his face. He winced as if she'd stabbed him, and watched her run away. "Good riddance," she said, fighting back the tears. "I should have known he didn't really care. He played with my feelings, and now he left me just like. . ." She gasped as she ran into someone.

"Ruki? Is that you?" Lee looked at her, and saw the tears she was fighting back. He could only think of one thing to do. He wrapped his arms around her, offering comfort to a friend. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

Ruki felt the arms around her, and just let go. "Jen, I . . . I should have known he didn't care. Nobody cares about me except Renamon. He lied to me, just like everyone else."

Lee sighed, and just held her. He didn't have anything to say, or any reason to speak. A good friend sometimes needs to be an ear instead of a mouth.

"Jen, you're always there," she said, opening her eyes, and reaching around him. "You're such a good friend, and you don't judge. Jen, I need, I need your help. I want to show that goggle boy what he's doing to me. Will, will you?"

He was supposed to help, but didn't know how. He couldn't answer, and yet he also couldn't refuse. "I'll try," he said, letting his partiality go. Takato was hurting her, a lot. And he was opening old wounds too. She needed his help, even if he didn't support revenge. "No. I will help, Ruki. I promise."

"Thank you."

Author's Notes:

This is primarily out of episodes, but for two scenes from Episode 16. It starts before and ended after wards. It all takes place before Episode 17.

Some changes have been made to characterizations to preserve the story, over the series. Apologies to any who are offended.


End file.
